I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met. Funny Love Quotes Image Source – Pixabay Looking for the collection of funny love quotes to share it with your loved one? H. L. Mencken "Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence." Love is like a tornado, picks you up off your feet and sometimes takes half your house. Love is the same as like except you feel sexier. Albert Einstein, 22 If you can stay in love for more than two years, you’re on something. – Helen Rowland, 167. 63. My mind works great wonder 365 days a year, 7 days a week and 24 hours a day until I met you. Marriage has no guarantees. – Russell Brand, 88. You will always be my 11:11 and the name I write in my naughty list. 42. Men just need a place. Check out these funny love quotes and sayings and have a great time. I solemnly swear I am up to no good especially when I am all alone with you. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn’t always go with everything else. – Pauline Thomason, 141. Joyce Brothers, 73 Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family. 136. These quotes have background images also some are very 68. I love you so much I’d fight a bear for you. – Joseph E. Morris, 148. Bill Maher, 43 My wife gets all the money I make. – Jewish Proverbangerfield, 123. Why not share these funny love quotes and romantic sayings on Pinterest and other social media sites? Johnny Carson, 66 Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you’re offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone’s feelings. Read more: Funny Love Quotes 2019 These were the cute funny love quotes for her.Hope you like these quotes and don’t forget to share it with the love of your life.Which quote do you like the most let us know in the comments Some of them are really inspiring and motivational, others are just cute and funny. Valentine's Day Quotes for Friends. Funny Sister Quotes About Love for Sisters. 66. 41. Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family. Marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight. Men marry women hoping they will not. Judith Viorst, 6 A kiss is a rosy dot over the “I” of loving. 30 Best Funny Movie Quotes 63 Really Funny Star Wars Jokes 77 Best Funny Love Quotes 20 Really Funny Grammar Jokes 120 Best Funny Pick Up Lines 25 Really Funny Harry Potter Jokes 30 Funniest One Liner Jokes 27 Best President Jokes 20 Best Banker Jokes Kevin Hart Funny Quotes. Sorted Love Quotes Broken Love Cutest From Movies Funny Forever Short New Love Unrequited Love Missing You Trust 48. Enjoy the lighter side of love with these funny quotes about love. I was married by a judge. If these reasons aren't good enough for you, get it because we're insecure and need your approval. “Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within.”— James Baldwin (click here for more James Baldwin quotes) 3. I wanted to be the girl that he loves, the girl he cares about, the only one he thinks of always. 43. 127. 2. – Oscar Wilde, 142. Katherine Mansfield, 52 Women hope men will change after marriage, but they don’t; men hope women won’t change, but they do. Make a 50th Wedding Anniversary Toast Even More Special. Finding the words to describe the love you feel for your future husband or wife doesn't always come easily. 74. Love Quotes. It's circular, so there's enough to go around. – Groucho Marx, 100. My wife and I were happy for 20 years – then we met. 25. Entertainment Music TV & Film Performing Arts Visual Arts Fashion & Style Love and Romance Gaming Hobbies Activities Humor By. That’s how wonderful it is to wake up knowing you are mine and I am yours. Richard Lewis, 39 My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. Me! All of us will face challenges in our lives. 30 Funny Love Quotes That All Couples Can Relate To. Life Quotes. About 30 pounds. Share PINTEREST Email Print Jamie Grill/Getty Images Liveabout. Promise yourself not to be a woman who needs a man to live, but a woman a man needs. The rest cheat in Europe. J. P. Senn, 33 There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments. Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there. 25 Funny Love Quotes That Will Give You The Giggles Leandra Beabout Updated: Sep. 13, 2020 Love isn't always rainbows and roses. I can relate to this quote “A kiss without a mustache is like an egg without salt” So each is inevitably disappointed. Here we are going to share best, funny, cute & short love Instagram captions for pictures and selfies. – Ray Romano, 56. An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets the more interested he is in her. – Charles M. Schulz, 33. You’re just like bacon, beer and chocolate – you make everything better. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell. 172. If you can fake that, you’re in. Jack Benny, 15 He gave her a look that you could have poured on a waffle. Elayne Boosler, 38 When you’re in love, it’s the most glorious two-and-a-half days of your life. If I loved … James Garner, 60 An arhaeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets the more interested he is in her. Humor and love make a brilliant combination. Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age – as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight. – Garry Shandling, 93. I haven’t had time for tobacco since. The rest cheat in Europe. 40. The great question which I have not been able to answer… is, “What does a woman want? My last love is just like that thong peter griffin borrowed from me… Never getting it back. During my days, the teenagers talk about movies, music and love. All you need is love. Powered by  - Designed with the Hueman theme, This post has been created by Roman Marshanski, the founder of this site. "Oh poor baby," she crooned, almost as if he really were a pet. The Most Famous Love Quotes That You Have Ever Heard. Best Love Quotes to Make fun with her: These are some beautiful love quotes that have funny meanings. – Jessica Martin, 81. We are unable to be weird and hilarious with everyone, but we can with our loved one! “ – – ” Do you know what would look good on you? When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don’t answer because I’m eating. If you liked this funny Bob Hope quote about love, check out all the best Bob Hope Quotes And Jokes, 3 Romance is the icing, but love is the cake. Marriage does not only require you to deal with expenses and the toilet seat, you also have to deal with feelings and the last resort, the lawyers. – Elayne Boosler, 51. – Francois de la Rochefoucauld, 77. We absolutely adore this funny food quote, and not just because pizza is one of the most perfect foods in the world. From famous authors to the romantic musings of Albert Einstein, these are the best quotes we could find. The happiest marriage I can picture would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. Send us a message. Awesome Love Quotes. Spanish Proverb, 14 I went to a meeting for premature ejaculators. I got lost in him, and it’s the kind of lost that’s exactly like being found. … Read More... about Participate in Research. Discover romantic, cute, sad, short, funny and inspirational love quotes and messages that you can use. Well not a grizzly bear because they have claws, and not a panda bear because they know Kung Fu. Go and find him. Now, all the kids talk about are sex, relationship and heartbreak. To make it more comfortable we've divided it into the… According to Newton’s Law of love, love can neither be created nor destroyed. – Arturo Toscanini, 164. – Charles Schultz. There are 275 quotes and sayings covering love, life, success, failure and more. Looking for inspirational challenge quotes about tough times in life, work and love? – Bree Luckey, 120. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile. Extremely romantic quotes you should say to your love “I wanted to tell you that wherever I am, whatever happens, I’ll always think of you, and the time we spent together, as my happiest time.” Share the best romantic love quotes collection with loving, inspirational and funny quotations on romance, romantics and being romanced, by famous authors Ray Romano, 44 Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there. While reading, really enjoyed a lot. Rodney Dangerfield, 49 What’s the best way to have your husband remember your anniversary? 65. – Judith Viorst, 126. Women love a self-confident bald man. 19. The poor bastard might be lost, stuck in an island or something. Anonymous, 4 Where love is the case, the doctor is an ass. Except for the dying part of course. There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments. Get it because it's faster than the guy who's running to pee. 60 Cute Love Quotes for Her. Get Love Tips Sent Straight To Your Mailbox. Life is not the same without humor. 34 Inspirational Self Love Quotes to Make Yourself Stronger. – Cindy Garner, 59. If you love ’em in the morning with their eyes full of crust; if you love ’em at night with their hair full of rollers, chances are, you’re in love. 157. It is not love that makes a relationship complicated; it’s the people in it who do. I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. Cindy Garner, 30 Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. 12 Sweet and Funny Love Quotes for the Romantic in All of Us Rachel Mount Hofstetter Updated: Sep. 13, 2020 These silly jokes and pinnable quotes all capture that crazy little thing we call 'love.' Add to Chapter... “ If I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I'd be picking roses for a lifetime. My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me naked and now she’s afraid of the light. I love being married. Sexy Love Quotes Naughty Quotes Love Quotes For Her Romantic Love Quotes Quotes For Him Now Quotes Funny Quotes Funny Humor Quotes Friday Sleeping Alone Is A Waste Of My Sexual Talent LoveThisPic offers Sleeping Alone Is A Waste Of My Sexual Talent pictures, photos & images, to be used on Facebook, Tumblr, Pinterest, Twitter and other websites. The 60 Funny Love Quotes. Stendhal "A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love." Rowland, 58 Breathes there a man with soul so dead, who never to his wife hath said, “Breakfast be damned, come back to bed.” Anonymous, 59 Marriage is a lot like the army, everyone complains, but you’d be surprise at the large number that re-enlist. I left early. Love is a mutual self-giving which ends in self-recovery. If someone lives such a charmed life that they never have to face adversity, they should consider themselves an exceptional unicorn. Love is a sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock. – Richard Jeni, 94. It all depends on what you put into it. Love is a fire. Miles Davis, 75 My wife, Mary, and I have been married for forty-seven years, and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never. 31. 114. Women are from Earth. – Fulton J. Sheen, 34. When my head says ‘I’m not thinking about her, my heart says ‘of course you do.’. We’re like Romeo & Juliet.. Lovers and couples are in deep love. – Chico Marx, 11. 15 Beautiful Maya Angelou Love Quotes. True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. I want to be the reason when you look down on your phone, you’ll have this goofy smile in your face and jump up and down like a silly little girl, and then fall down a manhole. In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker. Love is blind but marriage is a real eye-opener. – Andy Warhol, 85. – Lemony Snicket, 151. Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you’re offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone’s feelings. – Natasha Leggero, 91. You can use some of Stay hopeful and never forget that true love will find its way to you, no matter what. Love doesn’t drop on you unexpectedly; you have to give off signals, sort of like an amateur radio operator. 64. Then he is finished. If she happens to fall, I’ll be there to laugh at first and then help her up afterwards. Women marry men hoping they will change. Richard Jeni, 25 I’m now making a Jewish porno film. As a man in a relationship, you have a choice: You can be right or you can be happy. Mar 27, 2020 - Explore Pauline Fernando's board "Sinhala quotes☝️", followed by 247 people on Pinterest. You need 10 years before you can call yourself a beginner. The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. – Rodney D, 121. Top 10 Love Quotes - with quotes by Oscar Wilde, Alfred Lord Tennyson, Leo Buscaglia, Mother Teresa and more Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who Always have fun and be happy. But if you could, I’d wait for it to go on sale. If you hear bells, get your ears checked. 109. – Steven Wright. 159. Funny Love Quotes. When my head says ‘I don’t care, my heart says ‘I do care’. Did you also know that for most women, humor makes them, and their partners, feel and look sexier and more attractive? The four most important words in any marriage. When in love, indulge in fun to keep your relationship alive and kicking. Additionally, Luvze.com participates in various other affiliate programs, and we sometimes get a commission through purchases made through our links. Find Humor in Love and Marriage with Funny Quotes. Honesty is the key to a relationship. – Elizabeth Evans. Here are a few famous quotes about love that have become legends in their own right. Jewish Proverb, Check Out The Best Funny Marriage Jokes That Will Make You Laugh, 12 I was married by a judge. The following article will cover some interesting love quotes with English translation, that will help you impress the person you love. 10 percent sex, 90 percent guilt. – Richard Jeni, 134. 32. The following books had hundreds of quotes in them. Will you lend me a kiss? Love Quotes. When you’re in love, it’s the most glorious two-and-a-half days of your life. Javascript and RSS feeds. Kathy Mohnke, 41 Love doesn’t make the world go round. 24. Jerry Seinfeld, 63 Love doesn’t drop on you unexpectedly; you have to give off signals, sort of like an amateur radio operator. Get married on his birthday. Phyllis Diller, 27 Don’t make love by the garden gate, love is blind but the neighbors ain’t. If you can fake that, you’re in. – Quoteistan, 125. You’re the cheese on top of my spaghetti, the cream on top of my frappuccino and the cheesecake on my red velvet cake. – Cathy Carlyle. It's a sweet, tender way to share your emotions without being heavy handed. Billy Crystal, Please share these funny love quotes on social media right now, 11 Love is a sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock. Heartfelt Quotes for Saying Farewell. I should have asked for a jury. 135. To fall in love is awfully simple, but to fall out of love is simply awful. – Phyllis Diller, 156. – Ray Romano, 108. Romantic Love Quotes. 38. – Chelsea Peretti, 86. – Larry David, 111. Share some funny love quotes with your significant other this summer. – Jackie Mason, 3. Remember, our parents taught us to give the things we don’t need to the less fortunate. Phyllis Schlafly, 29 What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? this love quotes can help people but they are funny. Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you’re offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone’s feelings. – David Sedaris, 169. Love Captions for Instagram: Are you looking for Love Instagram captions for him or her?Couples, do you want some romantic captions and quotes for a partner? – Jack Benny. Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them. Funny quips about love. – Richard Lewis, 52. Wisdom Quotes. – Johnny Carson, 106. I had a dream that i still loved you. Erma Bombeck, 46 Marriage is like a bank account. I was married by a judge. You share such a great stuff. – Bill Maher, 55. Anonymous, Share these funny quotes about love with all your friends on Facebook, 28 Marriage is like pantyhose. Anonymous, 32 Love with old men is as the sun upon the snow, it dazzles more than it warms. – Woody Allen, 101. ~ Glenn Beck. Luvze® is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. Lily Tomlin, 18 Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing. When you're in love, it's not always easy to express how you feel. I just get an apple and clean clothes every morning. Read more: Funny Love Quotes 2019 . They say that love is more important than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug? – Bob Hope, 140. 36. Henny Youngman, 26 Marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight. You are the pain in my butt, the dent in my wallet and the scratches in my brand new car that I don’t mind. 8. But you can’t express feelings in words about love. I wasn’t kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth. I went to a meeting for premature ejaculators. Explore 1000 Love Is Quotes by authors including Leo Buscaglia, Khalil Gibran, and Victor Hugo at BrainyQuote. Whether it’s shout-from-the-rooftop love, or melancholy Gatsby romances, we’ve collected our 40 favorite romantic movie quotes from across the decades! – Richard Pryor, 103. Plus, it’s free. That is why Hollywood movie factories produce so many romantic comedies. People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy. Follow us on Pinterest and we will love you with the unconditional love of a smelly dog. Joan Rivers, 9 If love is the answer, could you rephrase the questions? You add meaning to my life and yet, you subtract some cash from my wallet. Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing. These funny quotes might sound a very non-serious idea to you but these can have a genuine impact on your love life because some fun is essential to make your moments special. Christmas Quotes. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt. Professor Irwin Corey, 47 A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes in it. – Miles Davis. 45. Ring Lardner, 16 What the world really needs is more love and less paperwork. Redmerski, 115. 20 Funny Love Quotes For Him To Make Him Laugh After A Fight. 20. Staying in love with the same person for you’re the rest of your life is a miracle. If only one could tell true love from false love as one can tell mushrooms from toadstools. English Proverb, 5 Love is the same as like except you feel sexier. (And shortest) Buy the books if you want the complete listings. – Franklin P. Jones, 54. Best for sharing on Facebook, Google plus or tag her. – Fran Lebowitz. When a couple is arguing over who loves who more, the one that gives up is the real winner. He was healthy right up to the time he killed himself. I think I woke up screaming. “You can’t Love is the answer, but while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions. 83. But they don’t really know me. Contributor. – Fran Lebowitz, 102. In love, somehow, a man’s heart is always either exceeding the speed limit, or getting parked in the wrong place. 67+ funny love quotes about couples, relationships, friends, kissing, true love. This is as close as I can get to describing it – a hot pancake with butter melting on top and a steaming cup of coffee as soon as I open my eyes.